There are two types of people in the world, the saying goes.
And you are either one or the other.
But you're really not, are you?
Then again, maybe you are.
I mean, you’re either a have or a have not.
An insider or an outsider.
Loud and gregarious or quiet and reserved.
An indoor person or an outdoor person.
Ectomorphic or endomorphic. (Does anyone ever see themselves as mesomorphic?)
Beatles or Stones.
A little bit country or a little bit rock-and-roll.
Mac or PC.
Nice or naughty.
Oscar Madison or Felix Unger.
Right?
So how on earth does this relate to your creative life?
There are two types of people in the world. And both live inside you.
They live inside me too.
It’s why “we’re a million different people from one day to the next,” as The Verve’s “Bittersweet Symphony” goes.
It’s why we waffle back and forth over seemingly inconsequential things.
It’s why, as human beings, we are unpredictable and make illogical choices.
It’s why we struggle to "find" ourselves.
And why we’re never really comfortable in our own skin.
It’s why we’re complex and multidimensional.
It’s like the cartoons we watched as kids where a pitchfork-wielding devil sits on one shoulder offering us the world while the little angel with a halo on the other shoulder keeps contradicting everything he says.
Except it is not just good vs. bad.
It is not as simple as two poles in tension in our lives.
There are millions of poles in tension all at once within us.
“Should I get my workout in or play with my kids?”
“Should I fold the laundry and scrub toilets or get some writing done while everyone’s out of the house?”
“Should I query that editor or keep honing my craft?”
“Should I be more outgoing or keep more to myself?”
“Should I stick with the plan or be spontaneous?”
“Should I forgive or fire him?”
“Should I focus on today or the future?”
We’re not only in constant motion in the outside world, we’re in constant motion within ourselves.
We fluctuate between all these poles at work within us based upon an ever-changing mix of internal and external stimuli.
And it’s this internal chaos that makes us to want to simplify our lives.
Get control.
Find balance.
And shut up all those voices in our head!
But what if this internal tension is what fuels our creativity?
I can't name one perfectly content Creative who is producing major work. Can you?
Most of us are running away from something.
Or running to something.
Or needing to prove something.
We're incomplete.
We're complicated.
We're hypocrites.
We doubt.
We care.
And I don't think this is something we can (or should) purge from our lives.
Quite the opposite.
I think it's what makes us real and human.
It's what connects us.
Because it's through our humanity (i.e. our struggles, pain, loss, hopes, doubts, quirks, insecurities) that we connect with one another.
You're reading this because I hope you sense a kindred spirit in the world.
I hope you feel a connection.
I hope you feel like you belong here.
And as for that creative life of yours you love so much...
The one that sustains you and gets you out of bed in the morning...
The one no one in your life will ever truly understand or appreciate...
...it is a shared life.
You are not alone.
And you are not simply one of two types of people in the world.
You are a portfolio of tensions, ideas, personalities and choices.
And that's what makes you uniquely you!
So head to your work space, lean into the tension in your life and let one of those voices in your head rise up and say the unsaid, see the unseen and feel the unfelt.
(Photo by Miss Sydney Marie on Flickr. Used under Creative Commons.)
Keitharsis is about creativity, roots and the portfolio life. It's written for writers, artists and other creative souls in the world. New essays are published each Tuesday and Thursday. A new creative exercise is offered on Wednesdays. If you like what you read, will you please share it with others?
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It's all of that tension that keeps us and everyone interesting for sure.
Posted by: LarryTheDeuce | February 02, 2012 at 06:49 AM
This has been such an important lesson for me over this past year. It's a tension that drove me crazy trying to balance. I needed to fit into a mold, a "type" of person. Especially as it relates to my faith.
But the tension is something I'm learning to embrace. I can't be one way all the time because I'm not simple, I'm very complex. One season of my life will cause me to react one way, while another pushes me in another direction.
The biggest thing I've learned is that it's alright. And rather than balance it, I'm learning to embrace it.
Posted by: Tony J. Alicea | February 02, 2012 at 08:45 AM
I've never heard the creative life put so well! The past few years I've carried my suitcase in one hand and my laptop in the other, always moving from place to place and trying to maintain a writing schedule. It's obvious to me now that I was running from everything (and still am). But this post has given me permission to accept the tension in my life and use it to propel my writing. I wonder how different the creating process would look if all artists were aware of these fundamental tensions and used them to deepen their art.
Posted by: Lizzie | February 02, 2012 at 08:53 AM
what a relief! i think i need to read this every single day. {and at some point, i might be able to read it without it bring tears to my eyes.} =)
you get it! and you don't just get it, but you put it into syntax and, thus, help the rest of us creatives let all those inner feelings of contradiction out and know we are to be okay with them... freeing!
Posted by: georgia | February 02, 2012 at 10:16 AM
WOW.
You did such an amazing job putting into words something that I struggle with daily....actually, that's not quite true. I struggle with it sometimes, other times I notice it, embrace it, accept it.
When I *can* notice, embrace, and accept it, it feels like Grace to me. Being right in the middle, and being okay. For me it feels a little tender, but also "right", and good.
So I decided today to let my more "outgoing" side out, and comment.
I have a feeling I'll be reading this blog many times. Thank you.
Posted by: Kim | February 02, 2012 at 10:26 AM
Whoa! I am so cranky and tired and sick of writing. I couldn't get myself to start a new assignment and constantly keep on wondering of the stress associated with deadlines is for me, a mom of two toddlers, a teacher and college student all at once. On some days I feel like I never want to write anything--ever again!! So pieces like these clarify things for me. They make me feel like I'm somewhat normal (just a tad) and that I will constantly be in motion no matter how much I do sleep. Thanks for that Keith.
Posted by: Nissi | February 02, 2012 at 11:04 AM
Larry: And constipated!
Posted by: Keith Jennings | February 02, 2012 at 11:05 AM
Tony,
"For everything there is a season," right?
It's so great to hear from you! Thank you so much for sharing your experience with this!
Posted by: Keith Jennings | February 02, 2012 at 11:11 AM
Lizzie,
I think one of the most important things we can do, as writers, is give people permission to be free. And as I've studied artists from all walks and disciplines, the greatest ones knew how to use life's tensions to catch lightning in a bottle.
Posted by: Keith Jennings | February 02, 2012 at 11:14 AM
Georgia,
Your comment made my day!!! Thank you so much for sharing this!
Posted by: Keith Jennings | February 02, 2012 at 11:16 AM
Excellent, Keith.
Do you think a creative producing "great work" can have moments of contentment? Or are they doomed to misery, or at least tension?
Posted by: Joe Bunting | February 02, 2012 at 11:17 AM
Kim,
I'm so happy to see your name in the comments! And I love how you connected the feeling to grace. Very cool!
Thank you for your comment!
Posted by: Keith Jennings | February 02, 2012 at 11:18 AM
Nissi,
Thank you! And, for what it's worth, rarely a week goes by that I don't think my writing sucks and that I should quit and take up gardening or something.
We have to be careful not to burn ourselves out. That's why I try to architect my writing around my natural body rhythms. And I take breaks throughout the week.
Posted by: Keith Jennings | February 02, 2012 at 11:25 AM
Joe,
Great question! I think the "struggling/suffering artist" myth is overrated. Without some experience of contentment how can any artist be great? They had to become content enough to ship their work!
So I definitely think great artists have moments of contentment, but they are realistic about what they know could be improved.
And it's the tension created by the imperfections we see in our work that keep us pushing ahead toward the next one.
Maybe this means our contentment should be in the process more than the product. What do you think?
Posted by: Keith Jennings | February 02, 2012 at 11:36 AM
I'm content in knowing that only one Artist is capable of standing back from his art and saying, with full confidence and satisfaction, "That is good." (Genesis 1-2).
I'm also content in knowing that I am NOT that Artist.
Therefore, I'm content with the tension of creativity.
Fantastic post. Thank you.
Posted by: Ryan Tate | February 02, 2012 at 03:27 PM
Ryan,
Fantastic comment! Thank YOU!
Posted by: Keith Jennings | February 02, 2012 at 04:05 PM
Keith - I think this is one of your best posts, yet! I have felt the tension of my two "sides" for a long time. Back in college, I was a business major (because I love the order and relationship side) and an english lit major (because although I'm a planner and like structure, I'm also very creative and like thinking outside the structure). For a long time I thought it was just because I was indecisive, but the longer I live in this skin, the more I realize it's foolish to try and fit myself into one mold. I am both, and it's in that tension that some of my best work comes out.
Posted by: Jason vana | February 02, 2012 at 04:33 PM
Jason,
Thank you so much! I think you and I are very similar in many ways. I, too, struggled with the business pro/Creative tension for many years. Still not totally comfortable in the discomfort. But it's paying off!
Posted by: Keith Jennings | February 02, 2012 at 05:04 PM
This is so true!
When I did my spiritual gifts and personality test I found out I am an artist and a conventional personality. This means I like free-thinking and unstructured time only slightly more than I like scheduled and organized time. Very strange.
But it explains a lot. I like to schedule time to write, but I don't like to schedule what I write about.
Posted by: Grayson Pope | February 03, 2012 at 07:30 AM
Grayson,
I've come to believe that there are two approaches to our work: causal & effectual. Think cause & effect.
A causal approach is a planned approach where the destination is pre-defined. An effectual approach is a "see what happens" type of approach where you work with what emerges as you work.
Both work. But we're typically more naturally one than the other.
Posted by: Keith Jennings | February 03, 2012 at 09:41 AM