From Gifted to Gift Giver (Part 2 of 2)

I love the art and act of writing.

I have always loved it.

I love the feel and sound of a pencil scratching paper.

I love the lingering smell of its cedar on my fingers.

I love the callus on my middle finger from decades of gripping writing instruments.

I love the click of the keys as I type.

I love watching the cursor zip left to right across the screen, leaving a trail of digital ink.

I love trying to find the right words.

I love starting.

I love starting over.

I love finishing.

I love having an idea arrive at the worst possible place and time and scrambling like a junkie to score something on which to capture it.

I love seeing which ideas and lines connect with readers.  And which don’t.

There is something deeply spiritual and raw about the whole experience.

When I began writing creatively, I wrote whatever I wanted.

But something changed the moment I decided to share my writing with others.

In that moment, my role and responsibilities as a writer shifted from craft to community.  It shifted from being “gifted” to being a gift giver.

Which meant that my writing was no longer mine.

It was no longer for or about me.

I believe this shift creates one of the greatest obstacles for aspiring writers and artists to overcome.

I’ve certainly struggled with it.

Writing out of a love of writing is a completely different animal than writing to be read.  Because in giving you must give up the thing you offer.  You must let it go.

But what you receive in return is far more valuable.

Think about how you go about choosing a gift for someone.

You don’t go out and get them the gift you most want.  You get them the gift they most want, right?

The best gifts are intimate.  Sacrificial even.  They reveal your care and attention, as well as how well you know the recipient.

Many writers and artists I encounter don’t approach their work in this way—as if it is a gift to be given to another person.

They still see their work as theirs.

They treat their creative work as if it were about them.

But the moment we choose to share our work with others…

The moment we choose to give through the gifts we’ve received…

…that is the moment we become gift givers.

…that is the moment our work is no longer about us.

…that is the moment that separates aspiring creatives from those that achieve lasting impact.

You have been given the ability to create and connect.

You are gifted.

What are you doing with this gift?

Are you giving away that which you most want or that which others most need?

(Photo by Brandon Warren on Flickr. Used under Creative Commons license.)

Keitharsis is a blog for creative types. My hope is to help you stay unstuck & take creative risks. Please tell your friends about this little nook on the web.  Save time and click here to receive Tuesday through Thursday posts via email.

Comments

[Karen]

Keith . . . I had to read this 3 times, because I got a different feeling from it each time.

Is it possible to have both? be the giver and do it for yourself? not give away but give away?

My blog writing lately about my journey, I feel has been for me and the readers. I have gotten something from it, and from what I have been hearing from others, that it's helping them. Is it possible to have both? Both and?

Tonight I just wrote a very hard write, but it was for me, and it was for others to see the understanding in it.. a gift for me and them who heal from it.

You wrote above about yourself that you went from "craft to community" .. but I think you going from craft to community made your craft "stronger", therefor you do get something out of it, at the same time giving.

That is my thought, and my wonder.

[Eileen]

Keith, I think my goal is to give away that which I "need" to give away. God has given each of us certain passions inside of us and in the process of figuring those passions out we desire to share those lessons with others. "We give because we first received"

Your words reminded me of the realization I had shortly after I started writing again after years of being too fearful to put my thoughts down. Writing creates joy. When I write I feel alive. It truly is oxygen to me. And, I think if I share my art coming from that perspective then that joy is contagious. I want to help breathe life into someone else and give others hope.

[LarryTheDeuce]

I remember three years ago writing simply to please myself. Somewhere along the way and much too long, I realized this was narcissistic. I still want to be pleased, but it's funny how the blog posts others like are thelose that I think will bomb. And those that I love actually do bomb.

[Suzie Gallagher]

You are gifted.
Isn't it great when you get an affirmation like that, "You are gifted"
I just let that sit for a while before tackling the next part.

"What are you doing with this gift?" I am practising, honing, writing, rewriting, listening, thinking, all the time writing is in my head whether I have pen and paper or my voice recorder on my cell phone. It is there. It is happening.

"Are you giving away that which you most want or that which others most need?"
I am a natural giver, if you came to my house and spoke positively about an item in my home, I'd give it you. It drives my family mad! I have been like a mother hen with my writing, never letting it our of my sight, not asking for comments or critique. I was frightened of criticism, I was scared of reaction. But now because my writing is so closely linked to my walk with God, I am called to share, he has bestowed me with a gift that I must then share.
However I am not into marketing, so needs and wants I don't "get". My writing now is not cathartic, it is not self obsessed, I am loving this freedom and just can't stop (you may have noticed!)

Thank you Keith, a thought provoking piece.

[Kim]

"Writing out of a love of writing is a completely different animal than writing to be read."

Yes!

Like you, I've always loved to write. But I realized quickly after starting a blog that the writing was no longer "just for me". Making a decision to blog turned out to be making a decision to find a way to connect with others and to find the things that make us all human.

I love to read memoirs. I love when writers find a way to help me see, understand, and accept my own humanness, even when their own story is completely different than mine. If I could give a gift with my writing, that would be the one I would want to give.

I have so much to learn still. Thank YOU so much for your words each week that help guide me in this journey.

[Taylor Murphy]

The final creation is for others. Why would i make a physical representation of my inner creations if I wasn't going to share it with others? When I bring something to life, I want others to experience it as well.

The act of creating is all mine. The process, struggle, and fight to get the right word is mine and it isn't meant for anybody else. Each persons technique is uniquely there's. But we should all get to share in the final creation.

[Keith Jennings]

Karen,

Alright, let’s unpack this!

Always remember that nearly everything I write on Keitharsis is built on a “right vs. right” tension. In this case, do you do your creative work for yourself or others?

Of course we do both, but one must be your root. You must choose one as your lead and let the tension created by the opposite pole inject energy into your work.

As you develop as a writer, you will discover that in order to attract readers and impact others, you will have to reorient the way you think about, craft and share your writing. But for now, as you begin your writing journey, it’s best that you not worry too much about readers and hone your writing and thinking. Foster joy in the craft right now.

Indeed, shifting from craft to community strengthened my writing. But I worked on my craft over 15 years in anonymity before doing the community thing. And once I made the shift to a community-orientation, I gave up writing from an inside-out approach. I now write from an outside-in approach.

I don’t spend my days finding readers for my writing. I spend my days (and nights) finding writing for my readers.

[Keith Jennings]

Eileen,

So very true! I think the most important thing is for each of us to decide what we want out of our creative life.

It’s kind of like a gardener and a farmer. Most creatives are gardeners. They grow things they enjoy and share it among themselves, their families, a few neighbors and friends.

Creatives who are like farmers are dealing with a different animal. Their crop must attract others or everyone starves!

I field lots of questions from creatives who are essentially gardeners but think of themselves as farmers. And I hope this will help re-orient creatives who are ready to farm!

[Keith Jennings]

Larry,

I experience the exact same thing!!! That’s why we have to just let it go and let it do what it’s intended to do.

[Keith Jennings]

Suzie,

Marketers don’t get needs and wants either! Which is why the vast majority of new company and product launches fail.

You’ve mentioned something important in your comment. If our creative work is truly unique and connects with the desires (or doubts) of others, it will connect and spread. It’s a painstakingly slow process. But it will spread.

And there is something incredibly freeing when we can let our creative work go and let it do whatever it needs to do. I call it "letting God be God," meaning I do my part and let God handle the rest.

[Keith Jennings]

Kim,

You’ll get there! It takes a lot of practice and patience. Lots of starts, stalls, restarts and adjustments. But if you are focusing your writing on the hopes, fears and frustrations of others, your words will connect. And as your words connect, they will spread to others.

But it starts with learning how to tune into the lives of others. Which means learning to be present and listen. And, sometimes, it means writing about things outside your experience, knowledge and comfort zone.

Actually, it means doing that last sentence most of the time. That’s why I wrote this series.

[Keith Jennings]

Taylor,

What you so effectively captured in your comment is that you work really hard to find and acquire the very best gift you can find. Because you deeply care about those you intend to give it to. And that begins with knowing them, then working diligently to find that perfect gift. Right?

Thanks for commenting!

[Jason Vana]

That's a question I'm constantly asking myself. I believe I'm giving a gift that others want, both in my writing and in my ministry, but I think sometimes that's a fine line and we need to be constantly asking if it's true of what we do. Great post, Keith!

[Karen]

WOW thanks Keith, this is good, good stuff, I love new perspectives. Like I once said in my own work, it's hard to see the island if your on it, but when you row away from it and get a new perspective from someone or yourself, you see it.

thank you for your time every week to help us "see the island"

[Suzie Gallagher]

letting God be God
massive beam across my face
Yea

[Keith Jennings]

Jason,

I plan to reach out to you in the near future. I think we have a lot in common! Look forward to learning more about you and your work.

[Keith Jennings]

Karen and Suzie — y'all make me smile!

Your comments are injected with such energy and urgency and passion, I smile when I see your names in the comments. And I smile as a read what you've written.

Can't beat that!

[Kim]

Your comment about writing from an "outside-in" approach has REALLY been playing over and over again in my mind today. I'm not even sure how/if it applies to my own writing, but it sure has me thinking (and thinking and thinking). !!!

[georgia]

i love this post.
i love the twelfth paragraph down {reminded me of me... except i never have that pen or pencil nearby, so it always escapes me}.
i love how creative you were with this.
i love the reminders or encouragement this gave me.

it's a good thing to see your art as a gift. it makes it have so much more sense and purpose. and i was thinking about this after tuesday's post... it may not be a perfect gift, but it is a perpetual gift, and with practice makes "perfect", what may not start as something so good will only get better with time and eventually be very valuable. and that is inspiration to keep doing what we do as artists.

i've been told by my husband, family and many friends that my strongest love language is gift-giving. and i see it, especially with tangible gifts. but i don't quite see it in my artistic endeavors/expressions. but then, i never thought to look at it that way until i started reading the ideas and themes you put forth in your writing. i think perhaps fear of critique has kept me from giving through my creative gifts {or seeing them as gifts} for so long. but i guess that's still really all about me. so i need to start thinking differently... putting on a different pair of glasses, i suppose. it's just difficult for me to imagine or conceive that anyone would "need" my creative gifts, so i remain comfortable in the belief that i am the only one who needs to get anything out of what i do creatively, even if no one else ever does. i guess that is where i personally get stuck when i think about this idea. but i know i don't only ever want to be aspiring and never achieving. it was easy for me to grasp when i read what you wrote about artists doing what we do for connection. i completely identify. but i can't wrap my head around seeing others as needing my gifts. i will be thinking about this for a while, i'm sure.

still... LOVED this artistic post... especially the beginning. and like always, you have me looking at "stuff" from a different angle and thinking in different ways than i am used to.

some day, i'll leave a two- or three-word comment, and you'll faint because you didn't know i could be that brief. =)

[georgia]

hahaha... as if i didn't write a long enough comment the first time!...

whenever i read your posts, i first comment on whatever comes to mind or whatever thoughts were stirred by what you wrote. then, i go back and read all the other comments and your responses... it's like getting two for the price of one... all the good stuff in your post AND all the additional things you say to build on those words in response to the commenters... PLUS, the good stuff that others say or ask, etc.

anyway, i'm glad i did that {even though it is so late and i am so tired... couldn't get over here to read until just now, 'cause i had a ridiculously busy day}, because one of the favorite things i read here tonight was the last paragraph in your reply to karen's comment... now that's a mantra! thinking that way may change a lot of what i do creatively!

okay, now i'm done.

[Keith Jennings]

Georgia,

I love getting two for one! Really appreciate your feedback.

I would like to add context to something I wrote. I certainly believe we should serve the needs of others. If someone is hungry, we should feed them. If they are sick, we should heal them. Etc. But even though we are serving others' needs, it's best when others want (not just need) our creative offerings.

Said more efficiently, we must try to serve others' needs in ways they want (and appreciate).

By the way, that last line I left for Karen comes from bestselling author, Seth Godin.